The Art Of Losing

Losing is definitely something not nice to experience (for sure!), but, everyone has at least an experience of losing. We might not realize but, maybe, once we go through it, it's only a verse of our book of life.


Last week, as American Idol reran the entire Season 7 in a "season marathon", Ryan Seacrest mentioned about "the harsh of rejection". It was about losing a chance. Later, Mariah Carey sang Bye Bye on stage and I fell in love with the song right away. This song was about "losing".


Today, I found in Melissa Bank's Girls' Guide To Hunting And Fishing, a best seller chick lit, a quote from Elizabeth Bishop's One Art. I knew this poetry but never really thought of it, but today, I thought, losing is something unavoidable in life.


However, it is not what Elizabeth Bishop wanted to tell us about the art of losing. It is that we should learn to accept "losing".

One Art
by Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
So many things seem filled with the intent to be lost
that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day.
Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel.
None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch.
And look!
My last,
or next-to-last,
of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones.
And, vaster, some realms I owned,
two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love)
I shan't have lied.
It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master
Though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

From The Complete Poems 1927-1979 by Elizabeth Bishop, published by Farrar, Straus & Giroux, Inc. Copyright © 1979, 1983 by Alice Helen Methfessel. Used with permission of Farrar, Straus & Giroux, LLC. All rights reserved.

CAUTION: Users are warned that this work is protected under copyright laws and downloading is strictly prohibited. The right to reproduce or transfer the work via any medium must be secured with Farrar, Straus, & Giroux, LLC.

(Well...This is a "copy-and-paste" business, so, with all respect, I guess I better copy and paste the source and whatever prohibition it may contain.)

Mariah's version of "losing" is probably more "hip" than Elizabeth Bishop's, as heard in her Bye Bye lyrics. Nevertheless, it touches my heart that some of its contain speak what I always want to speak to my late dad.

Bye Bye
by Mariah Carey


This is for my peoples
Who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby
Your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye
No, no, no

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers
Friends and cousins
This is for my peoples
Who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it
But you kept me in line
I didn't know why
You didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through

All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show
Because you loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today
Face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on
I wish I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
and be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say

Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

You never got a chance to see
How good I've done
And you never got to
see me back at number one
I wish that you were here
to celebrate together
I wish that we could
spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to
tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me
that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact
you're gone forever

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on
I wish I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say

Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

True, I wish I've spent more time with my dad before he left me forever. I never thought that I could miss him so much. I thought he would be here forever for me.

Bright Lights

Bright Lights

- Matchbox Twenty -

she got out of town

on a railway new york bound

took all except my name

another alien on broadway

there's some things in this world

you just can't change

some things you can't see

until it gets too late

baby, baby, baby

when all your love is gone

who will save me

from all i'm up against out in this world

maybe, maybe, maybe

you'll find something

that's enough to please you

but if the bright lights don't receive you

you can turn yourself around

and come on home

i got a hole in me now

i got a scar i can talk about

she keeps a picture of me

in her apartment in the city

some things in this world

they don't make sense

some things you don't need

until they leave you

and they're things that you miss

[chorus]

let that city take you in

let that city spit you out

let that city take you down

for god's sake turn around

Set The Fire To The Third Bar

Here's the lyric of a very nice song by Snow Patrol featuring Martha Wainwright. Listen up to the song and catch the lyric as it is very deep and that Gary Lightbody and Martha Wainwright had made such a good collaboration.

Set The Fire To The Third Bar

Snow Patrol feat. Martha Wainwright

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground I,
I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have traveled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids

And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground and I,
I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms